COUNSELING

My approach to individual psychotherapy is based on several theoretical principles.  I practice with a general framework on psychological principles impacted by societal variables, such as gender, sexual orientation, and experience wtih trauma (this is sometimes referred to as Psychodynamic Theory).

A good deal of focus is within a “family systems” framework.  Familly systems theory suggests we are all raised in unique environments, each reflecting a stated (and often unstated) system, reflecting the power dynamics, general health of family, whether abuse has occured, and what priorities childrens’ needs are given.  It is generally believed that we carry with us into adulthood succinctlly the framework of our family system, and it general gets recreated in adult relationships, sometimes to our disappointment, frustration and joy.

One goal in therapy may be to become better acquainted with the family system one was raised in, thus to have better insights, understanding and empathy about the impact on current issues and problems.  This does not always mean then change occurs, as it helps to examine specifically what “payoffs” continue to reinforce a familiar habit or behavior scenario.  For example, someone abused as a child emotionally may grow up to distrust healthy adult relationships, and thus may seek out the more familiar instance of an abusive relationship.  What one gains is the familiarity and the assurance that this is a kind of relationship that s/he knows how to operate in, and a more healthy relationship may provide more anxiety and uncertainty about what will occur.

In addition to the family systems and psychodynamics theories, I work in Cognitive-Behavioral Theory, when specific behavioral issues are involved, or when requested. This theory helps particularly overt manifestations of behavior that are in question to change (such as smoking, drinking, exercise and eating behaviors). 

Although much of individual therapy can be long-term in nature, I am also comfortable in short-term modes focusing on very specific issues, as well as clients’ desire and goal to spend a limited time in therapy.

With couples, I genereally suggest three issues to begin with: 1) What is secret that one or both of you are holding on to that would be difficult (or impossible) to share?  2) What communication patterns are evident (or for now, not so evident) that are impacting your relationship and causing some of the current distress?  3) If a gay male couple, what impact are a) finances, and b) sexuality having on the current relationship?  If not a gay male couple, what impact is reflective major life issues, i.e., Marriage, children, job issues, degree of romance, fidelity, having on your current relationship?

Couples work is an ongoing dialogue amongst the three of us, attempting to bring out and emphasize some form of the above issues. (Please note, some couples do not fall into the above mentioned framework, and thus the work would take a different focus, but may fall along the same general lines).  It is helpful if the couple takes home exercise work to be done during the week, most commonly this is the “Couples Chat” of one hour that attempts to continue the practice which has begun in therapy.

It is important to note that although this is an attempt at an overview of my counseling practice, there are always exceptions that don’t conform to these guidelines.  With both individuals and couples, I ask clients to consider the first session as an “Introduction and Overview”, thus both client(s) and myself can have an initial assessment of whether work here seems appropriate and tentatively helpful.

Group work frameworks are elaborated separately on the group work pages.